BASKETBALL FOR WHITEGUYS

Bowling. A past time enjoyed by millions. One ball, 10, sometimes 5 pins, borrowed shoes that have most likely come into recent contact with several forms of foot fungus. Some would say it's fun to play, most would agree that it's boring as fuck to watch. So you're probably asking yourself what the fuck is with this impromptu lecture on bowling? Well give me a minute here, what would happen if you... removed the pudgy, ugly, balding, middle-aged white guys from bowling and in their place added...

(not an accurate depiction)

Gina Lynn, and a small army of porn stars, strippers and whores? Well my friends, what you would have on your hands would be...

BOWLING BEAUTIES!!! (and maybe a little semen)

Now this is a Howard Stern production, and I'm a sucker for anything with the Howard Stern label on it, but this show can truly be appreciated by both Stern fans, and non-Stern fans alike. Pretty much if you like titties and have even the slightest sense of humour, you will appreciate the utter wickedness/ridiculousness of this show. It's an actual four-part elimination-style bowling tournament. All legit bowling, no goofy bonus points for showing snatch or anything, just real bowling... by hot chinks... in bikinis... and sometimes out of bikinis. As simple as that. Zuel scale time. 8.3 sounds about right.

Episode 1 - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G0BTTDZ5 Episode 2 - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HP1GADLH Episode 3 - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=96ZXZIPD Episode 4 - http://www.megaupload.com/?d=C4B0WF5O

PROOF THAT I AM KING!

I am King Of The Internets. What's that you ask? My proof? Well CLICK HERE!

That's right. Top fuckin' four. All me.

HULK HOGAN'S ROCK 'N' WRESTLING

This was the single greatest Saturday morning cartoon of the 1980's. So what's that you say? You don't remember Hulk Hogan's Rock 'N' Wrestling? Well how was life growing up in your cold-war communist Russoczechoslovakastan? Let me respond to that rhetorical question for you by answering with a giant "less than good."

OK so the story here is Roddy Piper and his band of evil doers try to fuck Hulk Hogan's shit up. That's about it. The stories are kinda weak, the animation is weak-weak, the awesomeness is strong though and the awesomeness of the live interviews between cartoons is exceptionally strong. But, at the end of the day if you didn't see this back when it first aired you're more than likely going to think that it's shit. If you did see it back in the day on the other hand, well it still holds up and makes you want to rip your t-shirt off and body slam then leg-drop any number of what can only be described now-a-days as horribly racially stereo-typed characters. I mean I love this cartoon, but Mr. Fuji is totally the Asian Amos of Asian Amos and Andy. And no Asian Amos and And Andy is unfortunately not a real show. But if it was who would be Asian Andy? My vote would be Fred Dryer of Hunter fame with clothes pins pinching his eyes. And on that horribly racist note on to the rating.

So ok this is a funny one, I don't feel right rating it as high as I should, but I'm also watching The Ring as I write this so I've kinda stopped paying attention to her oh creepy, she's coming out of the TV!!! 6.7 on the Zuel Scale.

here's

Episode 1 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ALQ3E79L
Episode 2 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=19TD36IO
Episode 3 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=I9BW35X0
Episode 4 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WTLEDOT2
Episode 5 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OWO3RMMF
Episode 6 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=STI5UQNJ
Episode 7 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PAP919BA
Episode 8 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=4PJ4R8IY
Episode 9 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ENOO2O04
Episode 10 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F9VTCOQ8
Episode 11 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=98C6YKUL
Episode 12 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KR4N55JU
Episode 13 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PE8PH7I5
Episode 14 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=D3U3DNIQ
Episode 15 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UMDA12L8
Episode 16 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DB69QICT
Episode 17 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XSWJOZ20
Episode 18 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=47UA0Y6M
Episode 19 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=KEW9JIW5
Episode 20 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=PC77M5XX
Episode 21 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=TRQ4OY72
Episode 22 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3M5HYMVL
Episode 23 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=590FSA8P
Episode 24 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=H4FREXQ7
Episode 25 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=2E92OBO3
Episode 26 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HQ8S9GRS
All-Time Champ Special
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0NG0HI7R

ANIMAL PLANET?? REALLY?

Ok so if you're like me, and for your own good I hope like fuck you're not, when you think of that fuckin' Animal Planet channel you think of some shitty show about the world's wackiest pets, or endangered penguins, or some douche getting to 3rd base with his cat or someshit.

Creepy

And 99% of the time you'd be right on the money, so needless to say I was fucking floored when I discovered that one of my new favorite shows is a product of that same Animal Planet. Now you're probably asking yourself "what on that horrible, horrible channel could be worth watching?" and to that query I happily answer...

This show is the shit. The first episode of this that I saw some dude woke up in the middle of the night to take a dump, and on his way to the shitter he pulled a live fuckin worm out of his ass. Awesome right? I was hooked instantly. Then there's my personal favorite the bot fly. Bot flies pretty much mug mosquitoes, plant their eggs on them, and then when you're bitten by said mosquito, it plants the eggs on you, where they grow to fat stubby little worms just under the surface of your skin. Seriously if you're not going to check out Monsters Inside Me, do yourself a favour and at least do a google video search of "bot fly". Anyways back to the show, honestly some episodes are better than others, microscopic parasites just doesn't have the same impact as shitting a tape worm, but still interesting stuff.

So overall I say an 8.2 on the Zuel Scale

Anyways here's season one
s01e01 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=AR6DIKQ4
s01e02 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6GIJNXCH
s01e03 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=UB57ZSN9
s01e04 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CFVUX148
s01e05 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EOVNPJ8V
s01e06 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DP4ZTVR1

JIM FUCKIN' BREUER... SPIRITUAL WARRIOR?? FUUUUUCK...

Well great fuckin news, he's not high! But he's got a whack of shitty stories that make me wish that I was. You know what though this could be the funniest thing ever, I couldn't tell you. This thing's eleven and a half hours long, and I checked out after about hour two. No that's not true, I was still listening but I stopped paying attention after about forty or fifty minutes. OK more realistically around the thirty minute mark.

But what the fuck, if you've got half a day to kill, and you really don't like yourself much give it a shot. I'm not going to bother rating it.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6BMC91QU

FUCKING MAGAZINE WEEK IS OVER

I've decided that reading magazines is gay. So unless I'm in jail I won't be reading any more of them.